Whilst I was thinking about what to write for the ninth tip in this series, the monthly newsletter from Michael Myerscough of The Relationship Gym
plopped into my inbox and I knew that the following excerpt was exactly what I needed. It's food for thought whilst you are getting together with family and friends over the holiday and, if, for some reason, you can't all get together this year, it's a reminder to find some other way to get in touch with your loved ones and let them know what they mean to you.
Who Loves You?
I’ve been trying to come up with a chirpy end of year article and I have to say it’s not working for me right now. I’m actually more focused on a eulogy that I’m writing for my Gran, Margaret Myerscough, who died last week. Her death marks the end of me having any grandparents and has come as a bit of a shock. I have to say that at the moment I’m experiencing regret about not having said all the things to her that I would have liked her to know. Whilst most of us were aware that she wasn’t very well it was assumed that my Gran would be around for another year or so. Well, last week she died peacefully in her sleep and moved on.
I make every effort to communicate how special people are in my life and let the people I love know that they are loved. In this case however I assumed that it wasn’t urgent and hadn’t been in touch for a while. I’m aware that there are a hundred and one times when we are reminded that life is a very fragile thing and that taking it for granted is a bit of a mistake. I just want to make it one hundred and two in the hope that in some way it might make a difference to your life.
It turns out that I’m reading the eulogy because I was one of her favourite grand children (I’m confident that none of the others are reading this so I can say that without hurting any feelings) and the sad part about that is that I had no idea. The thing that I’m getting around to here is that if you love people or even if people are just special to you it’s really, really important that you let them know. Don’t assume that they know, ever!
This is true with your partners, your parents, siblings, relatives, friends and just about anyone you share this planet with that you have any affection for. It makes all the difference in my world to know that there are people who love me, people that are proud of me or even people who just like hanging out with me or value my thinking. I also know that a lot of those feelings only became clear to me when I started telling others how important they are to me. For whatever reason a lot of us can get stuck in the idea that communicating love, in whatever form, is a bit of a burden for people that they’d rather not endure. Trust me on this one, it’s not true. Sure it might feel a little awkward and you might both feel a little shy, but every one loves a little love. It’s truly amazing the emotional doors that open when you start being honest with people.
So with this in mind I’d just like to take the time to say that having you read my newsletter makes a big difference to my life. I’m only really happy when I feel like I’m contributing something valuable to the world and every once in a while it becomes obvious that writing these articles has an impact. Sometimes someone will write to me expressing surprise at how pertinent an article was or how it made their life easier in some way. Sometimes someone will write and just say that they really enjoyed a story I shared. So if you’ve read this far I’d like you to know that I’m grateful and that you make a difference in my life.
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